LOVE IS COLORBLIND

[1] As should be, America is regularly referred to as the ‘melting pot’ of the world. Today in America we are seeing more mixed dating and mixed married couples than ever before. Because of this increase in interracial couples, the idea of dating outside your race is becoming less taboo. Relationships crossing racial lines have been popular in countless American novels, films, and real-life stories. Just look at movies like Far From Heaven and Monster’s Ball (Johnson). Also interracial couples are seen more regularly in music videos. Music videos often reflect society, and the more images of interracial relationships we see in the mainstream, the more people look at it as less of an unusual thing. It is a fact that interracial dating and marrying are becoming more and more acceptable, but should we have concerns about interracial relationships. Interracial dating has always been a hotly debated topic, and everyone has an opinion about the issue. I believe that interracial relationships should not be frowned upon. Interracial relationships provide the world with more diversity, and it leads to greater understanding between two races. But not everyone is as open-minded about the given situation. According to Kimberly Hohman author of, “The Changing Face of Love,” those who disagree with the idea of dating outside of one’s race fear that the growing numbers of interracial relationships may indicate a replacement of the historic races in America. Some people believe that the mixed children produced from these mixed relationships grow up with many more difficulties than non-mixed children. Although reactions to interracial couples vary, such couples are generally accepted. .

[2] The reason for this steady escalation in interracial relationships is because they are becoming increasing more acceptable. For most of our history we were a segregated society. Interracial relationships have come a long way since the 1960’s and 1970’s. Until then, mixed-race couples could not marry in 17 states (O’Connor). To add to that, it took 103 years until South Carolina finally voted to remove a ban on interracial marriage from its state constitution (CNN). During the 1960’s and 1970’s, such couples drew stares, if not violence. But experts say that has changed. Interracial dating and marrying is on the rise. “Interracial marriages now account for around 1.5 million of the marriages in the U.S. The numbers of interracial marriages are roughly doubling with each decade” (Hohman). The reason for the increase in acceptance of interracial dating is that people of different races are meeting each other in their communities, in their schools, in their workplaces, and their churches (Gaskins). Many people are attempting to break down the color barriers that so widely exist. The majority of us have seemed to embrace the racial diversity that exists in the United States. According to NYTimes.com, “one survey found that 40 percent of America had dated someone of another race” (Hohman). Because interracial dating is on the rise it reflects that we as a society have become more open minded and thoughtful. There should be nothing wrong with someone dating or marrying outside of their race. In fact for many people, dating out side of their race is a way of not limiting their choices but instead it allowing them a broaden range in the selection of a mate. More and more people are looking past color and looking at the character. With the increase of interracial acceptance, interracial couples are becoming more accepted as part of the norm.

[3] Our mental images of what is normal behavior in terms of dating have been constructed to only see Caucasians with Caucasians, African Americans with African Americans, and Mexican Americans with Mexican Americans, and Asian Americans with Asian Americans (Whiters). People have many reasons why they date and marry interracially. Some people simple prefer to date people of another race. Others are just looking for someone to establish a meaningful relationship with and that person just happens to be of another race. “Quincy Jones, Cuba Gooding Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, and Robert De Niro are only a few celebrities who have married or frequently dated outside of their race” (Johnson). The increasing trend of dating across racial lines just varies from each individual. In fact there are many dating services that carter to people who prefer to date someone of another race. Some say that as long as their mate’s treat them well, and they share common interest they have absolutely no problem with dating someone of a different race. It is wonderful to be able to see pass race, and love somebody for who they really are as a person. Love is hard to define, and you definitely cannot put a limit on what color it may show up in. Love comes in many different shapes, sizes, and colors. As in all relationships it takes commitment and determination to make it work.

[4] While there are more people becoming involved in interracial relationships nowadays, there are still people who think that they are wrong. “Karen Miller, a freshman says that she does not like the idea of dating or marrying outside of one’s race. She feels that in order to conquer the negatives between the races, ‘stick to your own kind’ ” (Stokes). Interracial mixing has existed for a very long time. Society in general has a history of frowning on black and white marriages. Since the days of slavery, individuals of different races have pursed relationships in the face of adversity (Webb). People against interracial relationships feel that when people date outside their race, they are abandoning their race and neglecting their heritage. Others say that every group is uniquely special and should not be integrated. They give the argument that we need to “preserve the purity of the race” (Whiters). In an article entitled, “Psychologists View of Interracial Marriages,” by Neil Warren, he states that one psychologist indicates that the “largest concern with interracial marriages is compatibility.” He feels that mixing races only causes problems, because most of the time these people are not compatible (Warren). I say that there are problems that exist in both intraracial and interracial relationships, but it is love that matters, along with the strength of the couple. And as in all relationships it is truly the quality of love shared between the two people that will make the difference between defeat and victory. Furthermore many believe that because mixed children often result from interracial relationships, many bi-racial children are faced with more challenges than that of a Caucasian child, whose parents are both Caucasian will probably never have to experience. Junko Minami, author of “Are Interracial and Inter-Cultural Relationships Worth It?” claims that mixed children will experience barriers and culture conflicts, as well as acceptance and rejection. Just because a child is bi-racial does not mean that they will have more problems than the next child. Every child whether white, black, yellow, or purple will grow up with their fair share of obstacles. I feel that these mixed children will have the unique perspective of seeing two sides of races, and be able to relate even more to people on each side in some way. Each interracial relationship can bring stares, insults, and isolation, but still many mixed raced couples and their children believe that the challenges are worth the reward.

[5]Each time two people of different races get together there is a ripple effect. Their family members, friends, and neighbors could get to know someone who is different from them. “For years, psychologists have discussed the significance of interracial relationships as a factor in improving race relations in society” (Hohman). Interracial relationships give much variety to society. Interracial relationships combine the new ideas and customs of two diverse people into a culturally rich blend. A survey done in September and October of 1999 found that in the general population, 73 percent approve of interracial dating and marriage, a figure that is up from 48 percent when a 1987 survey was conducted (Taylor). I believe that interracial relationships display the natural results of a world full of ethnic groups. The rise in mixed-race relationships is proof that the walls of racial separation are slowly crumbling. And it lets us know that what once was a crime is now becoming commonplace.

[6]Some attribute today’s rapid increase in interracial marriage to the progress made by the Civil Rights movement in the 1960’s. Others see it as product of our increasingly tolerant and open-minded society, while still others view the growing popularity of interracial relationships as more of a personal issue, motivated less by society, and more by people’s preferences (Gaskins). Overall, the culture in American society is changing. I personally feel that people should keep an open mind. If two people love each other what difference does it make to what color they are. In a sense, however it hits close to home to me because my boyfriend is of another race. I have never limited myself to dating people who are African American. I never sought out to date a Caucasian man, nor did I seek out to date an African American man. But the one thing I did try to find was love, and I found it in someone of another race. Is that so bad? To be honest, race never factors into anything that we do as a couple. It is hard enough to be in relationship with someone, but to add on the stress of worrying about the fact that we are of different races would make our relationship even tougher. Maybe you always wondered what it was like to be with someone of another race, or even if there is a difference. I would recommend that if anyone is interested in dating some one of another race, go for it. When the opportunity comes for you to date someone, don’t hesitate just because they are not of your same race. Who is to say whether or not you will find love? Despite the challenges and opinions about interracial dating, I believe that interracial relationships are just as likely to last as same race relationships. What difference does color make. The world should look at all relationships as love between two people without regard to their race. You would think by now our society would have better things to argue about than whether interracial dating and marrying should be happening.

Hohman, Kimberly. “The Changing Face of Love” 2003 racerelations.about.com

Johnson, Candace. “Black, White and Crossing Over” 2003 Available Here .

Minami, Junko. “Are Interracial and Inter-Cultural Relationships Worth It?” Breaking Away. 20 Dec. 2002. Available here .

O’Connor, Anne-Marie. “Breaking Down Barriers: Interracial Marriages On Rise” Los Angles Times. Available Here .

“South Carolina Removes Ban on Interracial Marriage.” CNN Available here .

Stokes, Fiona. “Interracial Relationships Increasing Accepted.” UVISION 2. 28 May 1996. Available here .

Taylor, Lynda G. “A View From The Experts: Survey finds interracial relationships well Accepted.” 22 Dec. 2002. Post-gazette.com Available here .

Warren, Neil C. “Psychologists View of Interracial Marriages” 8 Oct. 2002. Available here .

Webb, Alicia. “Interracial Dating” Breaking Away 2002 Available here .

Whiters, Crystal. “The Color of Love” Available here .